After the Dark
by zzdoricorezz
Summary: Max finds Lydecker locked up in the Conclave asylum and discovers that he has been held captive and tortured by the breeding cult for over a year. This story picks up right after the 3rd book of the Dark Angel series: After the Dark. This is a Lydecker and Max centric.
1. Chapter 1

I've just read the 3rd book of the Dark Angel Series: After the Dark. I'm not particularly impressed with it.

The book ends with Max finding Lydecker in the Conclave Asylum where CJ was, escaped and was taken back again. When Max finds Lydecker, she initially decides to leave him there to die but then he says that he can help her find her mother and Max very reluctantly then saves his life. But the relationship that is portrayed between the two in the last book does not line up with the relationship that Season 1 clearly hinted at and paved a way for. So, I'm just going to use the end of the book as a run down of what happened and then continue on with it with my own story.

Here's some background from the book to the run up of my story:

* * *

Epilogue

Max and the gang, which is Alec, Joshua, Mole and a few others are making their way to what seems to be a Conclave location. White had kidnapped Logan and told Max that he will trade him for his son, Ray.

After finding out that White's son has been killed, Max and the others are bringing the boy's body to his father and to tell him that it was his own conclave brothers that had betrayed him and killed his son.

They have discovered this location, which is referred to as the 'Conclave Stronghold', and they are trying to infiltrate and sneak up on White without him knowing that they are coming.

Here's a snippet from the book:

 _Still in the woods, Max reached the top of a short hill and peeked around a tree to see what lay beyond._

 _Down the other side, past another patch of trees alone in the middle of a wide, well-trimmed, sparse landscape sat a three-story white stucco building and two outbuildings._

 _Even from this distance she could see that bars covered the windows, and something CJ, the nutty brother of Ames White and evidently her half-brother, had told her when was it, a year ago?, came back to her._

 _"I'm not going back to their loony bin." CJ had said._

Max and the gang eventually meet up with White and he is of course furious that his son has been murdered by his own brothers. But White's ambition is to lead the Conclave, so his plans to kill Max and the other transgenics does not change. A battle ensues, Joshua kills White and other conclave members are either also killed, injured badly or made a run for it. So Max and gang won the battle and saved Logan.

The building turns out to be the 'looney bin' that CJ had referred to.

Another snippet:

 _Once they were up the short flight of steps, Max, Mole, and Alec went inside unimpeded. For all the frenetic and violent activity outside, the asylum itself seemed deserted. Initially, they found themselves in what had once been a reception/waiting room area, with a double- door elevator, but no chairs lined the walls, and the nurse/receptionist window was vacant; otherwise, it was just a big empty slab room, cut through the middle by a long hallway._

 _Though voices could be heard, the cries of prisoners, these did not emanate from this floor, in fact, they sounded more like they were coming from the walls. The effect was ghostly, troubling, but this floor was clearly administrative, small tidy offices with computers and desks and chairs and files, as you might find in any institution of this type._

 _The thought of the inhabitants of these neat offices being cultists with pagan facial markings, parading in flowing hooded robes, chanting ritual gibberish, seemed utterly absurd... or would have, if they hadn't just pushed their way through a throng of them out on the battlefield that the asylum grounds had turned into._

 _The building was old and badly in need of renovation, yet the place was neat, floors dust-free, no cobwebs, the walls and ceilings clean, the entire facility smelling of pine cleaner and disinfectant._

 _Moving cautiously, Max signaled for them to split up, Alec and Mole each taking one of the side halls while Max went down the middle._

 _Max found fire stairs at the end and started up._

 _On the second floor was cells and cries for help, shouts for attention, echoed down the hallways. No guards were around, no robed Familiars, no one home but the inmates._

 _She had a good idea who they were:_

 _prisoners of the Conclave, perhaps ordinaries who'd tipped to the evil practices and intentions of the Familiars, or betrayers among their own ranks, possibly even transgenics mixed with the real mental patients who'd provided the cover._

 _She pushed through double doors down a short corridor of examination rooms and more small tidy offices. The medicinal scent was strong, making her nose twitch, but that was well in keeping with what seemed a clinic of some kind._

After another show down with the priestess, the self-destruct button is pushed and they only have 5 minutes before the building blows up. Max decides that the people locked up in there doesn't deserve to die like that, so she of course tries to get everybody out.

Another snippet:

 _With the water coming down, her hair was well-matted by now. She had released four prisoners when she finally heard the locks all click open. All the doors thrummed open slightly and the prisoners needed no further encouragement than that. They flew down the hall, splashing, barely aware of Max waving them toward safety._

 _She stayed on the floor, going from cell to cell making sure everyone got out. She saw no other inmate or prisoner until she got to the last door, which she opened wide, and looked in to see a lump in the middle of a padded cell whose stuffing was largely hanging out of gaping tears._

 _"Get on your feet!" she said. "Building's gonna blow!"_

 _The lump rolled over to reveal a sickly, emaciated man who had obviously undergone a great deal of torture, a man who stared at her with beady dark eyes..._

 _... a man she had known all her life._

And from here on out is where I pick up my story. I still use what happened in the book but I've tweaked it a bit.

So, here goes my story…

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Chapter 1

* * *

Stepping into the cell completely stunned, Max frowns. "Lydecker?"

"Max?" A weak whisper. Lydecker looks confused, he's not sure if any of this is real, if Max is really there, if one of his _kids_ are really there, or if it is just another hallucination.

Whether it's real or not, it doesn't matter as he reaches out towards her with a shaky hand. "Help me." A weak version of that once strong voice pleads with her. "Please." _Begging actually…_

At that moment the events that happened at that genetics conference about two years ago runs across her memory. When he was down on the floor and he was about to take a bullet to the head…she just couldn't let him die. And that's the same feeling that she has now.

Without another seconds' thought, Max makes her way over to Lydecker, ducks down and scoops him up with his arm over her shoulder. He groans out in pain but Max continues on out the door, there's no time to do an inventory of injuries.

"Building's gonna blow," she yells as she makes her way down the hall towards the front entrance, "any second now! Run!"

They make it out of the building towards the edge of the forest where the others are waiting as she is hauling Colonel Donald Lydecker to safety with them.

As they get to the edge of the woods the building explodes. It started with three small explosions and then the whole building crumbled.

Logan comes up next to Max and he takes a second glance at the person that Max has helped out, he looks familiar. A moment later he realizes that it is the withered form of Lydecker, shivering and coughing.

Turning back to look at the building in ruins, Logan doesn't know what to say or to comment. They thought that he was dead. How did he end up here and what did they do to him?

Alec notices Lydecker's disheveled presence. "What's he doing here?! I can't believe this bastard is alive!" He is clearly upset.

"I can fix that." Mole says as he starts pointing his shotgun into Lydecker's direction.

Max steps in between the two. "No, I need him alive." She's not sure what reason to give them. Just because for some reason she couldn't let him die, doesn't mean that the others are just going to accept that as a legitimate reason to let him live.

"But it's what I want for Christmas." The reptile face wrinkles further and words comes through clenched teeth.

"I'll get you a tie." Max sarcastically answers back with a tone that indicates that this conversation is over.

From the outbuilding Dix had managed to get some trucks running and loaded the patients in that had just escaped the demolished building.

Mole and Alec placed Lydecker in the back of another truck. Max and Logan are going to take a separate vehicle after she instructed Mole to take Lydecker back to Terminal City, alive and in no worse condition.

"Call Dr. Carr and get him some medical help." Max tells Mole. "And keep him separate and safe from everyone else until I get there." She knows that everyone there would like to have a piece of him but she doesn't have anywhere else to take him.

"You're putting me in charge of him?" Mole asks as he lights up a cigar that he got - heck knows where.

"Yes because I trust you." She and Mole may have had their differences in the past but over the last few months they have all come to respect her and she knows that she can now trust Mole with anything and everything.

Alec hops into the back of the truck where Lydecker has been propped up and seems half out of it. Joshua gets into the front next to Mole to ride shotgun.

As they pull away Alec watches Lydecker. His physical appearance clearly tells that he has been severely tortured over a very long period of time. His eyes are lifeless and staring into nothing like he doesn't seem to even be aware of what is going on around him.

 _He deserves it…_ Alec muses.

"Why do we need to keep in alive?" Alec asks still watching the man that he hates the most on this planet.

"Because Max said so." Mole replies leaving no space for discussion.

* * *

TBC...

* * *

This story will have short chapters and updating may be slow in the future.

Thanks for reading :)

Reviews are welcome...


	2. Chapter 2

"This man knows the horrifying extent of torture." Dr Carr informs Max with a sigh as he hands her a file with all the medical data he has put together about the badly injured man.

He was on duty at the hospital when he got a call from Terminal City.

Max says nothing as she opens the file and just quickly flips through it. She didn't need a medical expert to tell her that, she could tell that by just one glance.

"He has been tortured over a long extended period of time. Months. He was severely injured with strategic wounds that caused the most intense pain but were not fatal. It would seem that his wounds was left unattended until they became serious and then he was given medical attention, nursed back to health and then they just did it all over again." The doctor takes a deep breath. He has been in a lot of medical situations but this is the first time that he has personally attended to someone who has gone through something of this extent.

"His hand…" Dr Carr brings the attention to Lydecker's left hand.

Max noticed the metal contraption that was attached to his hand but she didn't really stop to investigate as to what it was.

"They broke every bone in his hand and the metal brace is holding all of the bones intact until it heals. From what I can tell from the lines in the bones on the x-rays, it looks like this is like the 6th time it has been done. The foundation brace that holds it all together is attached to his wrist. That part is grown into the bone. That's how long it's been there." The doctor takes a breath as he explains while he is putting his things away in a medical bag.

"He has a raptured eardrum, multiple infected wounds, some of his teeth has been pulled, kidney has been cut out… the list goes on. And not to mention the toll that this would have taken on his mental state." Dr Carr pauses, who would do this to another human being? He thinks to himself.

No one has bothered to tell him who exactly this man is. That is why everyone else is sort of calm about the situation and not very worried at all.

"If I had to guess, I would say that the last, _session of torture,_ was about a week ago." The doctor's tone takes a dip. Torture is something that he has a major problem with, especially if medical procedures that is meant to help people are being used to hurt a person.

He then continues. "His system was flooded with a medical compound that kept him from passing out and losing consciousness. They wanted to make sure that he felt every single moment of pain." With that he pulls his black leather jacket on. He has to return to the hospital.

"It is all documented, you can read it for yourself." Dr Carr motions to the file in Max's hand.

"Thanks." Max quietly speaks as she processes what he has just said. She is actually feeling slightly sick.

"I've got him hooked up to a lot of vitamins and pain killers. He will be out for a while." The doctor then turns and starts walking away as he mutters something under his breath to himself. "This is the first time in a long time he has not felt any pain."

Closing the file, Max drops her hand holding it and just lets her hands hang by her sides as she watches the door behind which Lydecker is. To be honest, she is not sure what she should be thinking or feeling. She's not even sure what her game plan is with the man. Because ultimately, what is she going to do with him? She can't keep him here forever, the other transgenics will not tolerate that. At some point they are going to start questioning his presence here and if she doesn't give them a good enough answer, the questions will then start focusing on 'why' she saved his sorry ass that everybody hates, in the first place.

Carefully closing the door behind her, Max watches an unconscious Lydecker lying on the bed. He is hooked up to multiple drips. There are no monitors or any beeping sounds signaling a heartbeat.

They put him up in an empty apartment, not a hospital or medical facility. The apartment block is right next to Terminal City.

With funding from Logan, they were able to buy Terminal City and make it the official 'city' of transgenics. They then later on bought out a shopping mall and turned it into a mall where goods are sold that has been made and crafted by the transgenics staying in Terminal City.

They then bought the apartment block right next to it. And that's where they put Lydecker for the time being.

Max comes to stand at the foot of the bed, looking the man over that has caused her and her siblings so much pain in their lives.

She looks at the metal brace on Lydecker's hand, she looks at the wounds, old and new on his face. There's marks and a scar around his neck. His wrist's has angry marks of deep gashes with multiple scars circling them also. His finger nails are all missing and some has started to faintly grow back. He is covered in bruises of all colors. To sum it all up, he looks bad, really bad.

The strong, stern, feared and highly dreaded Director of Manticore… _not so strong now._

As she watches Lydecker, memories of Manticore flashes in her mind. Memories of Lydecker. Memories of what was done to them as kids. Memories of the doctors. She remembers the harsh training that pushed some of them to the edge near death and for others it resulted in death. She remembers the medical experiments that was performed on them.

She remembers when Jack was dragged away by the doctors after he collapsed because of a seizure, when she sneaked out that night to find out what happened to him. She found him surrounded by doctors cutting away at him with Lydecker in the room peacefully sipping away at his coffee.

This man has done some horrible and unforgivable things but Max cannot think to wish something like this upon anyone, not even Lydecker. Even if she has to admit that the thought has crossed her mind… _now he knows how we felt…._ Now he knows how it feels like to be at the mercy of someone else who has no good intention towards you. To be touched in ways you do not want to be touched, to be poked, prodded, beaten, cut, hurt and _tortured..._ Now he knows what it feels like to have your freedom taken away from you and be caged like an animal, while your life is in the hands of another person who is busy pursuing their own twisted ambitions.

But still, she can't think to herself that she would actually wished it upon this man that caused them all that pain.

Why? Maybe because she isn't like them. She isn't like him... She is not so cold and twisted to inflict such things on another human being.

She knows that this is just fine with Mole and Alec and the others, the only thing that is short, is death.

But that's not how she feels. Maybe it is because she has some sort of twisted connection with him. The whole 'inspired by' his wife story maybe. It kinda makes her family. _What a cliché…_ But it was even before that, before that night in the SUV with Lydecker that she felt some connection to him. Like that day at the genetics conference, he was about to take a bullet to the head and if she did nothing, he would be dead and she could've struck him off her list of problems. But she just couldn't walk away, she just couldn't let him die.

She had no idea why back then and she still doesn't know why now.

That night at that shoddy motel then pops into her head. He was drunk and he was talking and he was feeling sentimental. _Yeah some people should avoid trying to do those three at the same time. Apparently Lydecker has that problem..._

He recalled to her mind that night when she was in the infirmary when she was a kid...

 _"You remember that night I sat with you in the infirmary? I shouldn't have been there, I shouldn't have shown favoritism..."_

She had actually completely forgotten about that. But the moment Lydecker mentioned it, she remembered it clear as day like it happened yesterday. She even clearly recalled the strange feeling of comfort that accompanied that gesture.

Could this _thing_ that she has for Lydecker possibly be something like Stockholm syndrome?

Max feels slightly disgusted with that... _never mind._

To think that all this time while they thought he was dead, he was actually in the hands of White and the Conclave crazies. And there are two reasons that she can think of why they would do this to Lydecker and not just kill him.

One, for his betrayal to Manticore. And two, the information that he had.

Lydecker is the one who made the DNA lab mission a success. He is the one who knew exactly where to hit. He had all the info. He even killed some of their own agents. He did also take their ' _property_ ' that night when he took her.

And Lydecker is sharp, surely he had made the connection between Logan and Eyes Only. Maybe that is how White knew about Logan. Maybe his name slipped somewhere during one of the _sessions_.

 _Torture._

Her mind drifts off to the memories of when the former director of Manticore himself was instructing them about the gruesome practice…

" _Nobody can resist torture indefinitely. Not even you. You will reveal what you know…."_

 _How ironic_. Max thinks to herself.

Her mind again then wanders back to that night before they blew up the DNA lab. When they were sitting outside of the strip joint waiting for the person whose eye Lydecker took out. He told her about the whole 'keeping a part of his wife alive in her'. She remembers how he then turned towards her and had a smile on his face, a warm smile, and said, _"You have her eyes."_ The way he said it sounded like he was happy to let her know that.

Pulling herself unto the small table off to the side, Max is still watching Lydecker as she notes to herself…

 _...and here she is, sitting next to him…_

* * *

TBC...

* * *

Thanks for reading:)

Reviews are welcome, I'd love to know your thoughts.


	3. Chapter 3

Max together with Logan and Alec had been busy for the last few days trying to negotiate and finalize the deed of property that they want to buy that is on the other side of Terminal City.

They have been traveling up and down to lawyers and offices and so on. So Max had not been back to check up on Lydecker since the last time she was there. She left Mole in charge of making sure that no one enters the building to go looking for trouble and also that no one, namely Lydecker, leaves the building.

But she heard from Logan that had found out that morning that Dr Carr has been out of town since the beginning of the week. So who is looking after Lydecker? The file that the doctor put together notes that certain wounds should be cleaned regularly to heal infection and prevent it from getting worse.

Not that it can get much worse than the situation that he was in before, but still. Max has a strange feeling like she has some responsibility to go and make sure that he is doing ok.

So Max had returned to Terminal City and is making her way to the apartment where Lydecker is with some food. She wonders if he has had anything to eat since he woke up.

"Max." Mole who is patrolling with his shotgun resting on shoulder, nods as Max approaches him in the hallway.

"Lydecker still in there?" For some reason Max would not be surprised if he disappeared in the middle of the night – even in the condition he is in. She expects him to still be slippery like that.

"As far as I know. No one has come in or out since a few days ago." Mole puffs out smoke from his cigar.

"So no one has taken him food or medical supplies or anything else?" Max tries to act like it's not a big deal to her.

"I don't think that anyone here cares." Mole's answer is sarcastic as he continues on down the hall.

Max makes her way to the top floor. The entire floor is currently vacant except for the apartment where Lydecker is. The rest of the building is being used for storage at the moment. So the whole building is just about empty. They put Lydecker here because it was easier to monitor if anyone came in or out.

The apartment only has a bed with a small table and chairs. There is nothing else in there. Mole and the others wasn't going to make it homely for him.

Placing the key in the door, Max opens the door and as she enters the first place she checks is the bed where she saw him last. But the bed is vacant, it's just the pillow that is sitting by its lonesome, even the blanket is gone. There's two empty drips hanging on the side of the bed with the pipes hanging down onto the floor.

Stepping around the corner, Max finds Lydecker sitting at the small table with the blanket loosely hanging over his shoulders. He has his left hand with the metal brace put out on the table in front of him, like he is trying to keep far away from himself, trying to separate it from himself. He is slumped forward on the table with his head resting in his other hand.

He doesn't seem to know that someone else is even there.

"Lydecker." Max tries to draw his attention as she comes to stand on the other side of the small table with the bag of take away food.

There is no response. Max can see the faint movement of breathing and a slight shiver that runs through his body, so he's not dead.

"Lydecker."

This time Lydecker lifts his head like he has been startled awake and his hand which was holding his head falls to the table almost like dead weight. There's a hiss of pain as he becomes aware of the pain the moment he is awake. He then slowly blinks a few times and hazily looks around him like he is trying to remember where he is.

Before he can look up at Max, she takes the food out of the bag and places it in front of him. "Here."

She then takes out a bottle of orange juice and breaks the seal for him because he's not going to get that right with only one hand. She then places it next to the food.

"I'm going to get some medical supplies. I'll be back now." With that Max leaves the apartment without making any eye contact with the man. For some reason the situation felt awkward so she ducked.

Walking over to Terminal City's Med-bay, Max shakes off the feeling. She is going to have to go back there and clean his wounds and change the dressings. So she better make up her mind now if this is what she wants to do or not.

But if she doesn't do it, who is?

She can't just leave him like that.

Then Max wonders why does she care so much?

Upon returning, Max unlocks the door again. It's not that Lydecker has exchanged one prison for another, it's not like he is their prisoner. But it's for his own safety. Not that it would stop a transgenic from getting in but it is so that he can't get out. It will not end well for him if he is caught wandering the streets of Terminal City. So locking him up is the best solution for now.

Max finds Lydecker still sitting in the same place she left him with the blanket still loosely hanging over his shoulders. The take away container and bottle of orange juice is empty.

Placing a medical kit on the table next to Lydecker, she notices that he is shaking, his hands clearly trembling. Max takes away the empty container and bottle and takes it to the kitchen. The kitchen literally has nothing in it, just empty shelves. Max dumps the trash on the counter and notes to herself to get a dustbin.

"I have to clean the wounds on your back." Max announces as she opens the medical kit and starts taking out disinfectant and cotton. She still isn't making any eye contact with him.

He slightly turns his head into her direction but doesn't look at her either.

When Max has everything set, she turns and comes to stand next to Lydecker and waits for him.

Lydecker slowly moves and uses one hand to push the blanket off his shoulders which Max takes and throws on the bed. A hiss of pain escapes Lydecker as he tries to lift his shirt but with one hand it's not going to happen. Max then helps him to lift the oversize shirt, or maybe it's just because he is starved and there is very little meat on his bones. The Conclave probably only gave him enough food to keep him alive. Max then carefully pulls the shirt over his head and leaves it on his arms.

Great, this is probably the last thing that Max wanted to experience in her already bizarre life. Lydecker without a shirt but what she finds under the clothing horrifies her.

Just about every inch of his back is covered in wounds, marks, scars and bruises. There are cut marks, burn marks, lashes and badly infected wounds. And without the shirt, she can clearly see how skinny and thin he actually is. He looks sickly.

Max grabs another chair and places it behind Lydecker. She then soaks the cotton with disinfectant and starts cleaning the obviously infected wounds. She tries to be gentle but it has to be cleaned properly, so she does apply some pressure.

Catching how Lydecker's breath hitches and then a deep breath follows, Max wonders when was the last time that he has had pain killers of any sort. The drips are empty and there was no other medical supplies left there.

When Max is finished she realizes why there is no dressings put on the wounds to keep them clean. There are too many other wounds on his back. Max then takes out of the medical kit a sterilized cloth. She then places is on Lydecker's back to act like a covering. It'll at least keep it clean.

Putting the medical things back, Max glances over at Lydecker. He has his eyes squeezed shut and is shaking. He is clearly in a lot of pain.

"I'm finished." Max waits for him to react before she helps him to pull the shirt back on and over the medical cloth. In the process he lets out a groan of pain through clenched teeth.

Taking the medical kit, Max puts it into one of the empty cupboards in the kitchen. It'll be needed again.

So far she and Lydecker has still not made any eye contact and they haven't shared one word. She is talking but he hasn't said anything. He hasn't really acknowledged anything.

Does he even know who she is? She is sure that he does. He then looked right at her and recognized her because he called her by her name.

"I'm going to go get some meds." She feels like talking to him anyway whether he answers her or acknowledges her or not. With that Max is out the door and the click of the lock can be heard.

It takes about a half an hour to get what she wanted in the med-bay because she had to make small talk with everyone to distract them so that they don't ask any questions. She doesn't feel like having this conversation just yet.

When Max comes back, she enters the apartment next to the one where Lydecker is. She then places a medical box on the table. The box is stocked with everything that she thought might be needed as she doesn't want to go back and forth the whole time.

She then takes two drips. A vitamin and morphine for the pain.

Entering the apartment again, Max finds Lydecker has moved to the bed. He is lying on his side with his knees slightly pulled up with his back to the door.

Max grabs the empty drips next to the bed and dumps them in the kitchen. _Oh right, the dustbin..._

Coming back, Max wonders which arm to use for the drips. His left hand with the metal brace is put out in front of him and will be the easiest to use but it's covered in bruises and what appears to be cuts that is attempting to heal. She then lifts his other arm to see if it'll be better to use but finds that its condition is far worse.

After cleaning the inside of Lydecker's arm with disinfectant, she put the drips in. All the time, apart from shivering and shaking and the occasional whimper, the man doesn't move, doesn't open his eyes, doesn't make a sound, nothing. He is clearly not all there.

When she is finished, she takes a look around the empty apartment to make sure that there is nothing else that has to be done. Turning back her eyes falls on Lydecker but only for a moment. Then she moves to leave and as she opens the door, a voice stops her.

"Max." A weak whisper but she could clearly hear it.

"Yeah." Max turns around and looks at his back as she answers standing in the doorway.

There's a short silence.

"Thank you."

The words takes Max by surprise. Not really something she ever expected to come from Lydecker.

Well at least he knows who she is.

"Sure." Max almost hesitantly responds before she closes the door and locks it behind her.

* * *

TBC...

* * *

Thanks for reading:)

Reviews are welcome.


	4. Chapter 4

"Hey, what's up Mole?" Max greets with a cheery tone as she walks up to Mole who is standing at the entrance of the apartment building.

"Not much." A puff of smoke is blown into the air as Mole is leaning against the wall.

"All is still good." Max states as a collective observation. Terminal City is at peace, there is no Conclave breeding cult to worry about….

"Hm." Mole agrees as he leans his head back against the wall and closes his eyes. "So…"

Just as Max is about to pass him entering the building, he draws her attention.

"What is up with Lydecker?" Mole asks as he turns his head to the side to look at Max.

She knew this question was coming at some point or another. "I need answers and he's the only one who can give it."

"Whatever you say, _Maxie._ " Mole jabs at Max and then he leans back again as he takes another draw from his cigar.

Deciding not to pursue the discussion with him any longer, Max turns and enters the building. At the moment it seems like that answer suffices, so she'll leave it be until the matter becomes more pressing. Max knows that the transgenics trust her and respects her leadership but she doesn't want to do anything that will compromise that.

As Max unlocks the door and pushes it open, Lydecker who is lying on the bed gives a jerk as he is startled awake.

"It's just me." Max announces herself to settle any fears that the man may have as she goes to the kitchen. She places two bags on the counter top. The one bag has a variety of eats in it like energy bars and health snacks and so on.

Lydecker is lying down on the bed on his side with his knees slightly pulled up, like the day before, with the hand that has the metal brace extended out in front of him. It looks like he is trying to the keep the hand as far away from himself as possible.

Max then steps out of the apartment momentarily as she goes next door and gets some more drips, vitamins and stuff for the pain. Returning, she goes over to Lydecker and starts removing the empty drips.

Lydecker has closed his eyes again but the cringing expression on his face tells of the pain that he has.

"You know, we thought that you were dead." Max comments as she removes the pipe of the drip from Lydecker's arm.

A short silence follows and Max wonders if he even heard her.

There's a deep intake of breath. "There was times that I wish that I was." Lydecker's answer comes out in a slow whisper. His tone is hoarse but much better than the first day when he spoke to Max when she found him. When he spoke those first few words to Max… _help me…please.._ she could clearly hear that he has been screaming with that voice.

"I tried to make that wish come true but they would not let me." His eyes are still closed as he speaks the words with a hopeless tone.

Max glances at him. She's aware that some tortures revives their victims if they flat-line. And she recalls how some of the other prisoners, even CJ, was strapped up in a straitjacket. An image of the former director of Manticore being in a straitjacket pops into her mind.

Her eyes then flicks down and then travels to his arm that is extended out in front of him with the brace on. Besides other wounds, that arm is covered in deep cuts and gashes. That could be marks of torture or maybe he did that to himself to try and take his own life?

A sour feeling stirs in Max's stomach as she thinks how this broken, weak, sickly man used to be so strong, commanding and in control.

Fetching the medical box from the kitchen, Max fiddles for something in it and then moments later she returns with a chair to the bedside.

"I have to clean that hand." Max's tone clearly tells that she isn't any happier than he is about it.

Max watches as Lydecker clenches and unclenches his jaw but he doesn't say anything and he doesn't move. As his arm with the metal brace is already extended out, lying in front of him, he doesn't really need to do anything except not move.

Sitting down, Max opens the disinfectant bottle and as she catches a whiff of that strong smell, she immediately thinks of the asylum where she found Lydecker. So she moves the bottle away so that Lydecker don't have to smell it and be reminded of that place.

Taking an earbud with cotton, she dips it in the disinfectant as it will be easier to reach the wounds with it. But the moment the earbud touches the finger where Max starts, there's a slight jerking action and Max then pulls away. As Lydecker then doesn't make another move or sound except breathing deeply, she then continues carefully as she starts cleaning where the thin rods of stainless steel metal runs into his flesh and into the bones to hold them in place.

Noticing that Lydecker keeps on clenching and unclenching his jaw, while breathing deeply, Max speaks. "I'll get you hooked up to morphine just now." Almost like she is trying to _comfort_ him.

"It burns." Lydecker's strained whisper comes out through clenched teeth.

"I'll bet." Max agrees with a sympathetic tone. "These two fingers aren't looking too good." She's lying, they are in far worse condition, they are clearly infected, quite badly.

As she is busy with his fingers, she also notices that his ring is gone. He always wore a wedding ring but now it's missing.

Max then continues to clean the rest of his hand in silence. At some point he opens his eyes and just stares at her. She glances at him. His eyes are half lidded, they seem almost lifeless, tired and he looks aged.

"Can I turn your hand over?" Max asks before she lifts his hand. The situation is almost like trying to touch an injured dog. An injured dog will bite for no reason.

There's no answer, just a slight shake of his head. Then a moment later he lifts his own hand and brings it up to lean against his right shoulder.

"That'll do." As Max can't reach properly where his hand is resting, she gets up from the chair and takes a seat on the bed. As she cleans the top side of his hand, Max can get a better look at it. Four of his fingers besides the thumb has a dark line running along the top side and two of those fingers are swollen and red besides the bruises. It is definitely infected and very painful.

When she is done, she gets up and gets some more cotton balls. She then returns to the side of the bed, soaks the cotton in the disinfectant and moves to clean the wounds on the side of his face.

The moment the cotton touches him, his eyes opens as he flinches away like he has just been touched with a hot iron or something. Max pulls away slightly and waits to see how else he is going to react. When he does nothing for a few moments but closes his eyes again, Max takes that as the go-ahead and so she carefully pushes the cotton to the wounds on his face again. It's like cuts on the side of his face that runs up to his ear and she wonders if this is the ear that has the ruptured eardrum.

"Is there any other wounds that needs immediate attention?" Max knows that he is covered in them but she means anything that requires serious medical attention right now.

Lydecker lets out a sound that could've been a snort.

"Where do you have pain?" Max asks as she closes the bottle of disinfectant.

"Everywhere." It's a simple reply.

"Where does it hurt the most?" Max tries to cut the list shorter.

"Everything hurts." The weak voice informs her.

"The doctor will take care of the rest." Max tells him as she gets up to replace the things back into the medical kit. She will hook him up to the morphine and then Dr Carr can check up on his condition as soon as he is back.

"No." It's a word that comes out in a tone of panic.

Max stops in her tracks and turns back to Lydecker and his eyes immediately catches hers. The look is almost the same as when she found him locked up in that padded cell. Pleading, begging eyes.

"No doctors." A plea can easily be heard in his tone.

"Dr Carr is a close friend. He treats everyone here at Terminal City. We can trust him." Max tries to explain that there is nothing to worry about.

"No." Lydecker gives a slight shake of his head as he screws his eyes shut and a clear tremble follows in his voice.

Watching him for a moment, Max realizes that he is probably getting that same terrifying feeling that she, well, all of the transgenics gets when a doctor comes anywhere near them. It takes them back to those haunting memories and experiences with those doctors back at Manticore. Lydecker is probably experiencing the same thing.

Deciding not to push the subject, Max continues on to another subject.

"I brought you something to eat, if you're up for it." Max speaks from the kitchen as she places the medical kit back into the kitchen cupboard and throws the used cotton into the dustbin. She then takes out food from one of the bags on the counter top.

According to Dr Carr, Lydecker has suffered a hell of a lot of dental trauma. Carr says that he had to cut out broken pieces of teeth and bone and he had to do a lot of stitching in his gums and mouth. So she can only assume that his mouth hurts like hell. So she only brings him foods that is soft and requires no chewing, like yogurts and the sort.

When she exits the kitchen, she finds that Lydecker has pushed himself into a sitting position with much difficulty. She then watches as he carefully gets up onto his feet and makes his way over to the chair that is only really about three steps away but he struggles as he has a very bad limp. Glancing down at his bare feet, Max looks at the three toes on the one foot that is black and blue, they could be broken too.

He cringes in pain as he holds his other arm around his midsection. Hopefully that's only a broken rib or two and not something worse like internal bleeding. Reaching the chair, he takes a deep breath before sitting down with a grunt of pain.

She didn't really read the file about all his injuries with much attention. She just couldn't stomach it. Maybe she should look at it properly.

Max places some food down in front of Lydecker with a bottle of fruit juice. After watching him for a second only staring at the food, Max goes into the kitchen to give him some time to eat the food in peace.

She hates it when someone is watching her eat, it makes her feel like she is under observation or something. She can only guess that Lydecker would feel the same with her hanging around. Max then pulls herself onto the kitchen counter.

Maybe she should get a couch in here…

After about twenty minutes of thinking upon various things. Max slips off the counter and exits the kitchen. She finds the food container empty as well as the juice bottle and Lydecker slumped forward, lying onto the table.

Getting the empty container and bottle, Max moves around and finds that Lydecker is staring into nothing as he is slumped forward on the table.

"You want to move back to the bed?" Max asks as she watches him.

"Uh hu." Lydecker lets out a hum of disagreement as he continues to just stare at the wall.

Max watches him over her shoulder as she goes to the kitchen to throw the empty containers away. Returning, she grabs the drip of morphine and hooks it onto the bed. The pipe is long enough for Max to attach it to the drip in Lydecker's arm where he is sitting at the table, so she just connects it and leaves him where he is.

Before she exits the room, Max turns around and watches Lydecker slumped onto the table. A sad look crosses her face, she's actually feeling very sorry for him.

The door then closes, leaving Lydecker alone to himself.

* * *

TBC...

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Thanks for reading, reviews are welcome!


	5. Chapter 5

"How did you end up in the Conclave's hands?" Max asks as she is leaning against the window frame looking out over Terminal City.

Lydecker has been getting a bit better over the past few days. He seems a bit more in touch with reality and he speaks more with Max.

"The Conclave? Is that what they call themselves?" Lydecker softly responds. He thought that it was Manticore, who is the Conclave?

"It's a long story, I'll fill you in." Max will fill him in about everything that has been going on for the last year or so, but later. Right now his mind is having a hard time just coping with the here and now.

"I was on my way to meet up with an archaeologist when a SUV pushed me off the road, into the river." Lydecker recalls that night. It all happened so fast that he didn't even get to see his life flash before him.

"Yeah, they found your car but they didn't find your body. They said that no one could survive that crash." Max recalls the day when Logan told her about it. She was actually disappointed to think that he was dead. It felt like there was unfinished business between the two of them.

"I woke up in a hospital. I was relieved that I was alive but I also panicked because the chances was increased that Manticore would find me in a public location. I had to get out of there as soon as possible but when I tried to get up I couldn't as I was restrained to the bed." Lydecker stares down at the table in front of him as he recalls what had happened.

"I thought that maybe the authorities or the police had me in custody and my plan was to sweet talk whoever came through that door. But nurses came and went and they paid me no attention, they didn't answer me, nothing. And then came the moment when Agent Ames White walked through the door." Lydecker takes a deep breath almost like he is re-living that moment.

"I knew at that moment that I was screwed." There's a hint of hopelessness tacked onto his words.

" _Colonel Lydecker, it's good to finally meet you face to face." White drawled as he stepped over to the former Director of Manticore and colleague of the committee._

" _Where am I?" Lydecker's tone was filled with venom. He knew that he was definitely not in a safe place._

 _White merely smiled at him. "No need to worry, we'll have you back in tip-top shape soon." He then turned to leave._

" _In tip-top shape for what?" Lydecker asked._

"I thought that the committee was going to force me to re-join Manticore." There's a pause as he takes a deep breath.  
"I was wrong."

 _White stopped and turned to face Lydecker with a very unsettling grin on his face. "For interrogation." The grin on his face widened as he turned and left the room._

 _Lydecker was very well aware what 'interrogation' in Manticore terms meant._

Lydecker's mind then travels back to the events that took place after that first encounter with Ames White.

 _Over the course of the next few days, or maybe it was weeks, it was hard to tell as they kept on dosing him with sedatives. But he tried his best to get out of the restraints but he didn't succeed, not even an inch._

 _And then the day came when two male nurses entered the room. They started undoing his restraints, which he was happy about because he has switched strategies and pretended to be under the influence of the sedatives so that someone will release the restraints and he can catch them by surprise._

 _The moment he was free of the restraints he pounced on them, he successfully pushed one of the guys to the floor and he was busy wrestling the other one. He grabbed a metal tray that was sitting next to the bed and he hit the man over the head with it. Now usually when someone gets hit like that, they go down. But Lydecker was surprised beyond his wits when the man didn't even flinch, never mind fall over. He might as well have tickled him with a feather._

Maybe he still had more sedatives in his system than what he thought, maybe that's why his attack didn't make much of a dent.

 _By that time the other guy had gotten to his feet and pulled an electric prod from his belt and pushed it into Lydecker's back and he went down with a grunt._

 _The next moment he was lifted by the arms by the two men and he was pulled down the hall with his feet dragging behind. After going down in an elevator, they dragged Lydecker down the halls of what seems to be the basement. There was no windows, only florescent lighting_.

 _They then entered a room that had a table and two chairs and on one of the chairs there was sitting one Agent Ames White. As soon the two nurses had placed Lydecker on the chair, he lunged forward at White but he was grabbed by one of the men. There was a short struggle and then out of nowhere the man pulled out his electric prod and struck him in the face. Hard._

 _The strike to his face left him dazed for a few moments as he was seeing stars. He could feel how his legs were being restrained to the chair and then his hands placed on the table in front of him. His arms were then fastened to the table with restraints. One over the inner side of his elbows and one over his wrists, restricting his movements._

 _He eventually regained his focus and lifted his head as blood was dripping down his chin from his split lip. His eyes fell on Agent White who was calmly sitting back like there was nothing out of the ordinary happening._

 _"Right." White drawled as he sat forward and placed a folder down on the table. "Colonel Lydecker. Or can I call you 'Deck'?" White had an almost tease to his tone._

 _Lydecker chose to keep quiet and White just grinned in response._

 _"Tell me about…" White opened the folder, turned it around and pushed it in front of the restrained man. "452."_

 _Lydecker looked down at a file that had Max's picture and info. More particularly, the file had her latest blood work-up from Manticore. The same one that he took out of White's camp base. He himself didn't even know that Max's DNA contained any of the things that the blood report showed._

 _"She's dead." The answer was cold as he tasted the metallic blood in his mouth from his busted lip._

 _"Oh really? Well then I've got news for you. She's not. She's alive and well and causing us a whole lot of trouble." White watched Lydecker closely as he told him those things._

 _Shrugging his shoulders, Lydecker replied. "Nothing I can do about that."_

 _"We know that you 'joined forces' with her and a few other rogue X5's that escaped in '09…and Eyes Only." White dragged his words out as he placed emphasis on them._

 _"I didn't join forces with anybody, I was captured and forced to do what they wanted." Lydecker lied. He knew that betrayal against Manticore is a death sentence, if not worse._

 _White gave a chuckle. "You think that I'm going to believe that?"_

 _"What else do you want me to say?" Lydecker's tone had a dash of retaliation to it._

 _There was a pause and then White's tone changed. "The former Director of Manticore should be well aware that Manticore would not tolerate a 'rat'. The committee will not tolerate a 'traitor'."_

 _Lydecker chose to remain silent again. He is well aware of the dreadful consequences betrayal will be rewarded with._

 _A grin then found its way onto Agent White's face. "You will tell us everything that you know about the X5 series. You will tell us everything you know about X5 452. You will tell us everything about Eyes Only, you will tell us about their plans and their locations…" White started naming his shopping list of things that he wanted to know about._

 _"…But your betrayal however…that punishment can only be measured by blood and agony." The Conclave member's tone turned dark as he fixed Lydecker with a glare._

 _The door opened and then Lydecker's eye caught a stainless steel trolley being pushed passed him as White got up from the chair he was sitting on._

 _White then slowly started pacing up and down in the room. "What is the purpose of X5 452's DNA that has no junk DNA cells in it?"_

 _Lydecker was then given a chance to answer but he remained silent as he watched another man who came in taking a seat in front of him. The man had a white doctor's coat on with spandex gloves. Lydecker then watched as the man turned to the trolley next to him and opened a metal box which revealed long needle-like steel pins._

 _"What is the identity of the elusive Eyes Only?" White continued on to his next question as he continued to slowly pace the room while the doctor was setting up._

 _"I do not know the identity of Eyes Only. I do not know the whereabouts of any of the rogue X5's as I was blind folded and forced to co-operate." Lydecker tried to sell them the lie again._

 _Seeing where the events in the room was leading, Lydecker closed his hands and made fists. The doctor turned to Lydecker with one of the long needles in his hand._

 _"Open your hands." The man commanded with no emotion in his tone._

 _Lydecker just pinned the man with a deadly glare refusing to co-operate. One of the men that brought Lydecker there, stepped closer and pushed the electric prod into his side for a lot longer than was needed._

 _That hurt a lot more than what he was expecting as he slumped forward. In that moment as his muscles were weakened, the doctor opened one of his fists and took hold of one of his fingers. Then there was a stinging pain on the tip of his finger, then it turned into a piercing pain and then it escalated into being an excruciating puncture pain that shot up this finger and then his hand. He tried to yank his hand away but his hand was restrained to the table and the table was bolted to the floor. He was going nowhere._

 _The pain startled Lydecker out of his daze as he sat up and watched as the doctor had pushed the long needle into the tip of his finger and kept on pushing it deeper and deeper._

 _Lydecker started breathing deeply to keep the pain under control._

 _"Where can I find X5 452?" White just continued on with his questions, all calm._

 _The doctor then proceeded to bring another needle closer to Lydecker's hand but this time he couldn't close his fingers, not with the searing pain shooting up his one finger already._

 _Straightening the next finger, Lydecker glared at the doctor with a solid face, fully determined not to flinch or show any sign of weakness and pain. The needle was then pushed against the tip of his middle finger until it pierced the skin. The doctor then continued to push the needle until it has passed all the way under his finger nail and then extremely painfully slid along the top side of the finger bone, over the first knuckle and then deeper over the second knuckle, all the way up to the third._

 _All the while, Lydecker breathed deeply as he pushed down the pain with everything he had. He will not give them the satisfaction._

 _"Where are the Manticore back-up disks that you stole from my camp?" White asked as he circled around and came to stand behind Lydecker._

 _"I gave it to your grandmother." The retaliation flowed out of Lydecker's mouth with hateful sarcasm._

 _A chuckle escaped White and then he continued to circle around the room._

 _The doctor continued his 'administrations' until Lydecker's one hand had a needle stuck into each finger. In the meantime, he had built up enough strength to close his other hand into a fist and squeeze it shut with all the strength he had._

 _"Open your hand." The doctor flatly commanded as he looked to Lydecker who had him pinned with another glare. The expression challenged the doctor to dare and try to open his hand._

 _But before Lydecker knew it, the man standing by the door had stepped up and stuck his electric prod into the same spot in his ribs again. This time a strangled scream echoed against the walls of the room._

 _The electric current flowing through his body had caused Lydecker to clench not only his already closed hand some more but it caused his other hand that had needles stuck into his fingers to clench too._

 _Deep breaths came through clenched teeth as Lydecker was slumped over with his head resting on his one arm. He could feel a warm liquid running down his fingers of this right hand._

 _"Where can I locate Eyes Only?" White's voice calmly filled the room again._

 _There was an intake of a hitched breath as the doctor continued on with sticking needles into Lydecker's other hand also._

 _By the time the doctor got to his thumb, Lydecker took a deep breath as he pushed himself up from slouching over the table. His muscles were weakened and if it wasn't for the restraints bolting his arms to the table, he would've fallen over._

 _Looking down at his hands, he saw the blood on the table from his right hand. At the top of his fingers, there were outlines of where the needles was pushing up when he had clenched his hands when he was being prodded. There were dark blood bruises starting to become visible all over his fingers._

 _Both his hands were shaking from the pain and his breathing has turned erratic._

 _The doctor pushed the last needle into his thumb and it was just as painful as the first._

 _After putting his instruments back into its containers on the steel table, the doctor then left the room leaving Lydecker alone with White and the electric prod guy standing at the door._

 _Lydecker was left with ten needles stuck deeply and painfully into his fingers._

 _"They said that you would be tough." White came to stand in front of Lydecker with a smug look on his face. "But not unbreakable."_

 _With that White gave Lydecker one last grin as he turned to leave._  
 _"Think about those questions in the meantime."_

 _The man that was standing at the door exited after White and then the door was closed leaving Lydecker by himself._

 _And so they left him like that for days._

 _It gave him time to think and think hard._

 _And after thinking about his options for a long time while his hands were in agony as the wounds have started to get infected, Lydecker came to a decision. And it's actually White's own words that helped him make it._

"... _But your betrayal however…that punishment can only be measured by blood and agony..."_

 _It doesn't matter what he told White, the pain was not going to stop._

Max watches Lydecker in silence as he just seemed to have spaced out. They were having a sort of a decent conversation when he seems to have thought upon the memory of what had happened for a moment too long and it just ran off with him.

"Lydecker." Max tries to pull him out of his thoughts.

When there is not response, Max leans closer. "Lydecker."

A moment later a painful expression spreads over his face and then he breaks his silence. "The punishment for my betrayal against Manticore could only be measured by blood and agony…" Lydecker is still staring blankly as his words comes out slow and trembling.

Max looks at him in silence as her heart is actually aching for him.

And then he adds. "…and they were not finished…"

Feeling the weight of his words pushing down on her own heart, Max tries to cheer him up in some manner. "But you don't have to worry about that anymore, you are no longer in the Conclave's hands. You are free from them."

The words seem to break through to Lydecker as he slowly turns his head into Max's direction and then he lifts his eyes and makes eye contact. "Free? Like you were free from Manticore when you escaped that night?"

Lydecker's words cuts Max to the core. They may have escaped but they were never free from Manticore. Manticore was in their memories, in their training, in their minds, in their nightmares. They were never free of Manticore because they were being hunted down to be returned there.

"At least you are not actively being hunted down to be thrown back into a cage." Max tries to draw a comparison.

"You really think just because you blew up one of their buildings, they are gone for good?" Lydecker's tone is doubtful.

"We did a lot more than just blowing up one building." Max states as she turns away from his gaze. "And besides, if the Conclave is still going, they have bigger things to worry about than chasing after you."

Lydecker watches Max for a few more seconds, then he turns his eyes away as a memory flashes in his mind..

" _You will never leave this place, you will never see the outside world again. This is all that you will know for the rest of your life…pain…" The voice echoes in his mind._

"I hope that you're right." Lydecker honestly does hope that Max is right that he is free from them and that he will never have to endure pain like that in his life ever again.

* * *

TBC...

* * *

Thanks for reading, reviews are welcome!


	6. Chapter 6

_Lydecker was being dragged down the halls of the basement attempting to kick and punch until an electric prod is heard followed by a grunt of pain._

 _He is then brought into a room with a table standing off to the side and a pair of chains with shackles extending out of the ceiling and lying in the middle of the room._

 _The next thing Lydecker knows, his shirt is pulled over his head. He is then pushed down onto the floor while the two men closes the cold metal shackles around his wrists. Once they are secure, they let go of him and move away._

 _Lydecker makes it onto his feet as quick as he can and tries to use the chains to jump one of the men but then the chains starts getting shorter and pulls him back to the middle of the room._

 _The man in the corner is turning a handle that is rolling the chains up and it pulls Lydecker up towards the ceiling. When Lydecker's feet and then toes, leaves the ground, he groans in pain as he is pulled up to hang from the ceiling by the raw metal shackles around his wrists. It's a very painful thing to hang all of your weight on the joints of your wrists alone._

 _When the one man steps up to Lydecker, he kicks out aiming for the man's head but his foot is caught. Lydecker continues to try and kick the man until he pulls out his prod and swings it and lands a painful blow right onto the side of the joint of Lydecker's right knee. A scream of pain echoes in the room and then painful grunting follows as Lydecker tries to cope with the pain._

 _Lydecker has noticed that these guys have inhuman strength and abilities. He wonders what part of the Manticore program they are from. He certainly doesn't know about them._

 _Being immobilized by the pain, the man then puts shackles onto Lydecker's ankles binding them together and then it gets attached to a hook in the ground. This successfully chains the man down and he cannot kick or retaliate in any way._

 _Lydecker tries to pull on the chains but there is absolutely no hope of escaping them._

" _Deck." A brown haired man comes into view. "And how are you doing today?" The man asks like a doctor would ask his patient._

" _Where's White? Has he given up already?" Lydecker's voice is labored._

" _No not at all. He simply has more pressing matters to attend to." The man turns and walks over to the table to the side. "But not too worry, I'll be 'attending' to you from now on and I'll give you all of my specialized attention." The man has a creepy smile tugging at the side of this lips._

" _The answer is no." Lydecker states before he is even asked anything._

 _A wide grin crosses the man's face. "We'll see about that… Deck."_

 _With that the man looks over the table which has various 'instruments' placed out on it._

 _The man then disappears behind Lydecker but then the next moment he knows exactly what is coming when he hears the crack of a whip._

" _No need to worry, you don't need to answer any questions today. Today is all about the consequences of betraying the committee and your Manticore colleagues." The man informs Lydecker and then he adds…_

" _Renfro put in a particular bad word for you."_

 _Just the mention of her name makes Lydecker's blood boil. He has always despised her._ _But before Lydecker can think further on his murderous intentions for his former bitch of a boss, a searing pain snaps across his exposed back._

 _Lydecker grunts through clenched teeth as he cranes his neck back trying to pull away._

 _Before Lydecker can brace himself for the next blow, another searing pain snaps across his exposed back._

 _And then another, and another and another. Lydecker had lost count by the time he started feeling a warm liquid spreading across his back._

 _And then it stops._

 _The deep labored breaths of the man hanging from the ceiling is the only sound in the room. And then a scream of pain is let out as an unexpected searing pain snaps across Lydecker's bare stomach._

 _Hours later, or it could have been days for all Lydecker knows. He is in an explainable amount of pain as he has been left hanging there after the man was done. His back and stomach is on fire, bloody, bruised and covered in welts from the lashing of a whip._

 _His wrist are in agony as all of his weight is pulling down on the joints and his knee is in extreme pain. Lydecker is convinced that the blow to his leg had cracked that bone as it is pounding with pain._

 _As Lydecker's head is leaning forward onto his chest, he can see on the floor beneath him drops of blood, his blood, dried blood. It tells him that he's been there for a while._

A commotion outside the door of the apartment pulls Lydecker from his thoughts. He then turns to look at the closed door and waits for someone to come through the door and for some reason he feels that it's not going to be Max. What if it is this Conclave breeding cult that he thought was Manticore that Max had told him about. What if they had found him? What if they are here to take him back…

The door opens and reveals Max standing on the other side. And with her she's got…

"A couch. I have acquired you a couch." Max announces as she pushes a two seat couch in and then kicks the door closed behind her.

A sigh of relief escapes Lydecker. It's not his worst nightmare coming true.

After Max had moved the couch in and pushed it against the wall, she plops down on it. "Now you have 3 locations to hang around." She is referring to the bed, the chair he is always sitting on and now he has a couch.

Lydecker just turns away and keeps staring into space like he was doing before Max showed up. It doesn't bother Max, she didn't really expect much of a reaction from him anyway.

"O yeah, I brought you coffee." Max remembers that she put it down before she pushed the couch in. She gets up, opens the door and retrieves two bags.

"You take sugar?" Max asks as she takes out a take away cup of coffee and places it on the table.

Lydecker just stares at the cup. He can't even remember what coffee tastes like.

Without waiting for an answer, Max adds three sachets of sugar. "You need the sugar." She then gives it a stir and pushes the cup over to Lydecker who is still looking at it like it's a foreign object.

"I brought you some clean clothes also." Max informs him as she enters the kitchen and comes back with the medical kit.

Placing the kit down on the bed, she starts taking out what she needs. "I need to clean the wounds on your back again and make sure they are getting better."

"It's fine." Lydecker states not really wanting to be touched.

Thinking about how to respond, Max can understand why Lydecker doesn't want to be touched. For the past year the touch of another person has done nothing but bring him pain and hurt.

Max comes to stand next to him. "If I don't clean those wounds and they get worse, Dr Carr is going to have to cut the infection out." She is sure that Lydecker would know this, or has he forgotten?

The word 'cut' sinks in to Lydecker's core and then he moves to try and pull the shirt off. He doesn't want to be touched, but he sure as hell never want to see another scalpel of knife ever again.

Taking hold of the shirt, Max helps Lydecker shed the shirt and then when she tries to pull it off his arms, he holds onto the shirt not wanting to let go.

"I brought a clean one, we can get rid of his one." Max explains but Lydecker doesn't let go where the shirt is sitting just above his elbows.

Max decides to leave it for now and moves a chair behind Lydecker to clean the wounds on his back. Even though Max had seen what his back looked like before, the sight is still horrifying and turns her stomach. She then goes ahead and cleans the wounds as quickly and sufficiently as she can with Lydecker giving a suppressed hiss here and there.

When she is done, she places a new clean medical cloth over his back. She then gets up and stands next to him. "The shirt has to go." The time has come and Max isn't going to plead with him to take the shirt off.

Eventually Lydecker lifts his right hand in a way that gestures surrender, that's a strange thing coming from Lydecker. He then lets Max slowly and carefully pull the shirt off his one arm and then carefully maneuvers it over the brace on his left hand. The moment Max catches sight of what Lydecker's exposed chest and stomach looks like, she understands why he didn't want to take the shirt off. He didn't want her to see what he looks like underneath the shirt.

Max tries to pretend that she didn't really notice it and she does her best not to look again. But she clearly caught the scars and welts lying over his stomach. On the right side of his stomach there is a crater in his flesh, probably where they cut his kidney out. There are a variety of marks, burns and cuts. But the curious thing that caught Max's eye was the Manticore symbol that has been burned and branded into Lydecker chest on his right side.

Carefully helping Lydecker pull on a clean shirt, Max tries not look at any of the marks on his body. She is feeling sick to the stomach, she may even have to go and throw up. Lydecker may have done some horrible things to them back at Manticore but at least he never did anything like this.

Lydecker remains silent, he knows that Max saw it, she saw it all. He drops his head and turns away from Max. Ashamed.

"How's the coffee?" Max asks to try and break the awkwardness in the room. "It is too much sugar?"

"It's good." Lydecker simply answers. Anything is good as long as it isn't in that hell hole where he has spent the last year of his life.

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TBC...

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Thanks for reading, reviews are welcome!


	7. Chapter 7

_Lydecker is sitting on the padded floor, leaning against the white padded wall that has seen better days. His one knee is pulled up and his hands are resting on the floor on either side of him as he is blankly staring at the wall in front of him._

 _The door being unlocked draws his attention and then two of the asylum nurses enters the cell. Two men, not too big or burly, just a bit taller than Lydecker himself. Under normal circumstances he would be able to take on two guys like that with his military background but it was soon after he arrived here that he realized very quickly that there is nothing normal about this place. Especially not the people working here. They all have some sort of superhuman strength. They don't even flinch by getting hit in the face with an object. Lydecker knows that because he has already tried it._

 _Without any words the two men steps up to Lydecker to take hold of him when he tries to move away from them. But the men merely keeps on stepping closer until he is cornered and then they grab hold of his arms. As they lift him to his feet, Lydecker starts fighting in any way he can just like he always tries to. The one man unhooks an electric prod from his belt and sticks it into Lydecker's side. As they are members of the Conclave and they have beyond human strength, it's not that the fighting is going to do them any harm, but the squirming and kicking is quite annoying._

 _A strangled yelp is heard and then his body goes just about limp and they continue to drag him out of the room and down the hall. Lydecker weakly tries to clench his fists to try and recover his strength but there is no hope as they drag him into the elevator that goes down into the basement. He has to get a grip and fight before they get to the basement, because nothing good ever happens in the basement._

 _Exiting the elevator that has reached the basement, Lydecker has regained some strength and he tries to pull away when he is suddenly lifted into the air. The next moment his heart almost stops at the shock of sudden extreme cold as he is dumped into a bath-like stainless steel tub with ice water._

 _He barely has time to get his head above the water, when his feet are restrained with leather straps to the bottom end and his hands are pulled up and restrained to the top just above his head. He tries to pull out of the restraints but he has just enough strength to keep his head above the water._

 _Moments later two of the 'doctors' comes in and without any word the one sticks a patch onto the side of Lydecker's neck that monitors his heart rate. The doctor disappears out of view and when he returns he places electrode patches on Lydecker's forehead._

 _This is going to be another day from hell…_

 _Not too long another person enters the room. The brown haired man._

" _Colonel Lydecker." The man in the white coat greets with a wicked smile on his face._

 _By this time Lydecker has started to shake and shiver from the freezing cold that is enveloping his body._

 _Lydecker remembers watching the man standing next to him asking him questions. And for the life of him, he can't even remember what those questions were. He just remembers letting out a few curse words and telling him to go screw himself._

 _The man then looks up at the other doctor and nods. The next moment the only thing that Lydecker is aware of is pain. Pain everywhere, on his whole body, over his whole body and running through his whole body. His screams seems to fade as his vision turns white._

 _When it stops he is panting for air in between coughs as he tries to pull himself up to keep his head above the water._

 _The man then continues to ask him questions, he doesn't tell them what they want to know and the pain starts again and again and again and again…_

 _When Lydecker wakes up, he finds himself feeling cold, very cold. When he regains his vision he finds himself still inside the tub of ice water._

 _The doctor leaning over him with an injection speaks, "You passed out but not to worry, you won't again."_

 _Lydecker starts panicking, there is no way out, there is no way to get away from the pain. There's only one solace from the pain which is the blissful state of unconsciousness and that has been taken away from him as they keep on injecting him with a medical compound that keeps him from passing out._

 _A few times later the doctor monitoring his health stats speaks up, "His heart rate is dropping."_

 _The man that was next to him then disappears from sight and then the two nurses comes into view. They unfasten the restraints and lifts Lydecker out of the water. They then drag him down the hall back to his padded cell. They drop him into the middle of the room and then exit and the door locks behind them._

 _Lydecker is lying on his side, unable to move. He can't even roll over. Every single fibre of his body is in tormenting pain. He is shivering rather violently from the ice water he was in for far too long and he was left in the wet clothes lying on the floor. The shivering isn't helping with the pain stabbing at his muscles. Everything is just pain… and it is cold…_

Lydecker is pulled from his thoughts as the shivers he's got draws him back to reality. His eyes drops down to his hands on the table before him. He stares at his hands that are shaking and shivering. Is it the cold? Or is it the trauma?

The blanket lying on the bed suddenly pops up in Lydecker's mind, so he slowly gets up to go and curl up on the bed underneath the blanket.

As he turns, he spots Max lying on the couch. She is fast asleep.

Lydecker tries to remember when Max got there. What were they talking about? How long has she been there? Lydecker wracks his brain trying to recall as he stares at Max's sleeping form.

Why is she here?

After a long time musing, Lydecker makes his way over to the bed with the bad limp that he has from his knee. He pulls the blanket off and then he makes his way over to Max. He carefully places the blanket over her, trying not to wake her.

He then stands there looking down at her. Why is Max doing this? Why did she drag him out of that place? Why is she taking care of him?

Why?

He has done nothing to her except…

 _Hurting her…_

As Lydecker thinks upon that word, 'hurt', he suddenly realizes that what has been done to him…how is that different from what he had done to her back at Manticore?

After a long time staring at Max, Lydecker limps back over to the bed. He then gets on and curls up as far as his injuries allows him to. He is still shivering, but that's fine. At least he is no longer in that place…

When Max wakes up, she feels warm and comfortable. As she opens her eyes, she realizes that this is not her and Logan's room. She then realizes that it's Lydecker's apartment.

Sitting up, Max discovers the blanket that is lying over her. Looking over to the bed where the blanket is supposed to be, is Lydecker. Curled up in a feeble position shivering.

She knows that she definitely didn't take the blanket. So the only way the blanket got to covering her, is if Lydecker covered her with it. But why would he do that. He needs it far more that she does.

Getting up, Max makes her way over to the bed and then places the blanket over him.

After giving him one last questioning look, she makes her way to the door.

Looking back at him lying on his side, his eyes closed, almost screwed shut, Max recalls a memory. When Lydecker was down on the floor and a gun pointed at his head about to shoot at any moment. She has often recalled that day at that genetics conference. She remembers a very distinct feeling that she got and it's the same feeling she has been having around Lydecker since she found him.

The only way she can name the feeling is...to..protected?

Max frowns to herself as she leaves and closes the door behind her. Why would she feel protective of Lydecker?

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TBC...

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Thanks for reading, reviews are welcome!


	8. Chapter 8

_Lydecker is back in the same room where White was interrogating him while needles were being stuck into his fingers. Needless to say, it's a room that he is not very fond of._

 _This time, only Lydecker's left hand is restrained to the table with a strap over his inner elbow and one over his wrist. This other hand is fastened by his side to the chair and his legs to the bottom._

" _I only have one question for you today.." The man that he has come to know as his personal torturer comes to stand in front of him._

 _"Hammer or pliers?"_

 _The man then holds up a hammer in the one hand and a pair of pliers in the other._

 _Staring almost wide eyed at the tools in front of him, Lydecker chooses to remain silent._

" _My choice then, I pick the pliers. It's not as messy and it's easier to fix your fingers afterwards." The man states as he puts the hammer down and he moves to the other side of the table._

" _Open your hand."_

 _Lydecker of course has his hand closed in a fist. He is not going to make it easy._

 _Again, as on queue, the man standing at the door steps up and pulls out his prod and then pushes it into Lydecker's mid-section._

 _Hanging over forward trying to recover from the shock, Lydecker feels his hand being opened and then he feels something cold circling his finger. Realizing what is going to happen he tries to pull and jerk away but to no-avail as the restraints has him securely fastened in place._

 _A clear snapping sound is heard in the room as the man pushes down on the pliers and the small bone at the tip of Lydecker's forefinger is snapped in two._

 _Lydecker successfully strangles a cry of pain._

" _One down, eighteen more to go." The man calmly informs and then the coldness of the pliers is felt as it has been moved to the next bone in the finger._

 _Nineteen bones. Lydecker recalls. That's how many bones are in the human hand._

 _This man is going to break every bone in his hand…_

 _He can suppress pain and stick it out for about three or so but nineteen? He's not going to be able to keep pose._

 _By the time when the pair of pliers clamps down on the 7_ _th_ _bone and breaks it in two, the screaming starts._

 _By the time the man gets to his fourth finger, which is the 10_ _th_ _bone, Lydecker's vision starts swimming. That means that the blissful state of unconsciousness is not far away._

 _Not long after, the screams dies down and Lydecker slumps forward as he passes out from the pain._

 _The next thing that Lydecker knows, he is slowly waking up. His head is spinning and his eyesight goes in and out of focus. Then there's pain…Lydecker starts groaning and then he looks to the source of the pain._

 _His hand._

 _His hand is still strapped down. Some of his fingers have started to swell up. And some bad bruises are starting to form._

" _We lost you there for a moment but the good doctor woke you up so that you won't miss one second of this fun activity." The man speaks as the doctor next to him are still holding the injection of whatever it was that he was injected with._

 _A sense of utter hopelessness floods over Lydecker as the man picks up the pair of pliers and picks up where he left off._

As Max is busy cleaning the wounds on Lydecker's other arm, the one without the brace, she looks at the wounds on it. There's a huge cut running down the middle of the inside of his arm, all the way up to the inside of his elbow from his wrist. It is stitched together. It looks like Dr Carr had to cut something out.

Max then notices the scars on the arm besides the obvious long wound. There are deep circular scars. Not solid circles but broken pieces that makes a circle.

Glancing up at Lydecker, Max then turns her attention back to his arm as he is staring off into nothing again. His mind seems to be somewhere completely different.

As Max wonders what could've made the scars, a slight feeling of shock rises in her when she realizes that it is bite marks.

And at the angle that the bite marks are… Lydecker bit himself?

When Lydecker realizes that Max is studying the marks on his arm he suddenly pulls his hand away and brings it close to his chest. Like he doesn't want her to see it. He doesn't want her to know about it.

Max gives him a moment.

"Let me clean it." Max softly speaks as she holds out her hand.

It looks like Lydecker is not going to extend his hand to her again to continue cleaning as he just keeps it close to himself. But Max just keeps on holding her hand out to him. She knows it takes times to trust. She knows that it takes patience.

After a long time, Lydecker slowly starts moving his hand but then stops like he is hesitating.

"I'm not going to hurt you." Max softly states. Surely Lydecker knows this?

Lydecker's eyes travels to the floor as a look of shame is in his eyes.

Max realizes that it's not that he is afraid that she's going to hurt him. He's ashamed of what happened. He's ashamed that he wasn't as strong as what he made everybody to believe.

Slowly reaching out, Max softly takes his hand and then gently pulls it towards herself. Lydecker lets her do that. She then continues to clean the wound without making it obvious that she is looking at the bite marks.

As Lydecker stares at the floor, his mind starts pulling up images of what happened.

 _After months of surviving in that hell, his mind eventually caved. He just wanted it to end. He told them everything that they wanted to know but the pain didn't stop. He screamed, he cried, he begged. But they just kept on dishing out more torture. One day completely beside himself he attempted to kill himself by biting his own wrists so that he could bleed out and die._

 _But it turned out that he was being monitored through cameras which he didn't even notice was ever in that padded cell. They took him to the doctors which stitched up his wounds and fixed what damage he had done. Then to prevent it from happening again they strapped him up in a straitjacket._

 _He remembers lying on the padded floor not being able to move much. They put a gag in his mouth that was a stick-like instrument that prevented him from biting himself again, even the inside of his mouth or his own tongue._

After Max had cleaned his arm properly and applied antiseptic cream, she puts on a bandage. Max watches Lydecker as he stares at the floor. He seems to not even be there, his mind is somewhere else.

"I'm done." Max announces but there is no reaction from Lydecker. He just lifelessly keeps on staring at the floor.

"Lydecker." Max tries again no reaction.

Max leans forwards and tries again. "Lydecker."

This time it seems to have broken him out of his daze as he slowly turns to look at Max.

"I'm done." Max motions to his arm.

Lydecker looks down at his arm with a confused look on his face. He didn't even realize that Max had taken his arm back and cleaned it. She even bandaged it.

As he remembers why he pulled his arm away from her in the first place, he shamefully turns his face away again.

Max watches Lydecker and she actual feels sorry for him.

"It stays between us." Max softly assures him hoping that it would encourage him not to shut her out.

Still looking away, Lydecker gives a nod.

Lydecker remembers when he was lying on that floor in that straitjacket, he was wondering to himself... _Is this how the anomalies felt that was locked up in the basement of Manticore?_

As Max leaves the apartment, Lydecker is left alone with the memories of what happened next.

 _After a few hours of lying on the floor, strapped up and gagged. He was delirious for a few of those hours but when he had calmed down, that's when the two male nurses came to fetch him. He tried to struggle the best he could not being able to move much._

 _They dragged him down to the basement, again. He is then brought into a room with one single chair standing in the middle of it._

 _After being placed on it, one of the men holds Lydecker as the other one straps his feet to the chair and then fastens his upper body to the chair, him still in the strait jacket._

 _The brown haired man then enters the room and then comes to stand in front of him. Before the man can say anything, Lydecker tries to beg but is very unsuccessful as his mouth is still gagged._

" _The doctors tells me that you tried to kill yourself." The man then takes a deep breath as if he is there to solve a problem. "This is to teach you that your actions has consequences, in case you try to make your own plans again."_

 _With that a metal trolley is pushed into the room and before Lydecker can have a look to see what's on it, his head and face is grabbed by a set of hands. He tries to struggle and pull away but the hands are like a death grip. The pressure on his jaw is released as the gag is taken off._

 _Then a thumb over his chin forces his jaw back open again and then something cold is placed between his teeth and it hooks over the sides of his mouth. Then whatever it is, starts to pull his mouth open. As his jaw is forced open and it reaches a point where the pain is stinging, Lydecker concludes that they are going to dislocate his jaw or break it._

 _But then the pressure stops but keeps his mouth open at a very painful angle._

 _A hand on his forehead then pulls his head back. Then the drill of some instrument is heard and shortly after it is followed by screams. First is started out as strangled suppressed screams but then it turned into blood curdling ones._

 _Through all of the pain, Lydecker eventually realizes that they are drilling into the roots of his teeth. As no anesthetic is used, the pain is raw, real and excruciating. His teeth has started to bleed excessively and at the angle his head is being held, all he can do is swallow his own blood or drown from it._

 _When they were done they placed the gag back into his mouth. With the gag in his mouth, it causes his teeth that are in terrible pain to bite down on it. Then they started dragging him back to his cell. His head hanging over forward and blood running out his mouth._

* * *

TBC...


	9. Chapter 9

Lydecker is once again sitting at the table with the blanket loosely hanging over his shoulders when Max enters the apartment. As ritual she announces herself and then makes her way to the kitchen.

"Are you hungry?" Max asks as she comes out of the kitchen.

When Lydecker merely shakes his head, Max pulls out the other chair and joins him at the table.

Last night when Max was looking at the x-rays of Lydecker's hand to determine when the brace can come off, she noticed something. A very thin line in the x-ray. Something that runs along the top side of the bones of four fingers. After studying it, she realized that it's not supposed to be there. So she wants to check to see if there is anything but she knows that Lydecker doesn't like it when his injuries are being studied. So she somehow has to do this with him not noticing it.

"Let me see that hand if I need to clean it again." Max points to Lydecker's left hand that has the brace.

After a moment's hesitation, he slowly moves his hand over to Max on the table.

"It's almost time for it to come off." Max notes as she has lifted his hand and is looking at his fingertips. She spots small dark dots on his fingertips. When Max brushes her finger over it to see if it's just a mark or what, Lydecker suddenly pulls his hand away as if he has been burned.

"I need to see what that is." Max tries to softly explain.

"It's nothing." Lydecker's answer is quick.

"The x-rays shows that it is something." Max tries to push the point while keeping her tone gentle.

Lydecker's mind starts going to back to what happened two weeks before Max had miraculously shown up and saved him from that hell hole...

 _The man whose name he still doesn't know, had him tied to that dreadful chair again with his hand strapped to the table with the brace and all. The 'doctor' came in with a trolley with instruments and that made him lose his mind. He started to beg even before the doctor took a seat in front of him. The doctor then proceeded to take out those long needles and then push them into the tips of his fingers. His hand was already in the worst kind of agony possible and now they had to do that too._

 _The doctor only used four needles and only on the one hand. All the while through Lydecker was screaming and begging for it to stop. When Lydecker realized that the doctor was not going to proceed to the other fingers a wave of relief washed over him, until the doctor produced a pair of stainless steel wire cutters. He then proceeded to cut of the needles at the flesh of the tips of his fingers._

 _He then left Lydecker with this statement_ , " _Next time we will be cutting them out…"_

Well thank the heavens that they never got the opportunity to do that.

But now he doesn't want anyone to touch him. He doesn't want any more pain. If he just keeps his hand still and not use it, it will be fine, there will be no pain, there will be no reason to do any more cutting.

"It's infected, it needs to be removed." Max tries to explain. She only realized now how bad it is. That's why the infection in that hand doesn't want to go away. That hand is probably in agonizing pain and Lydecker never said anything.

She can do something to make that pain go away but that's only if Lydecker lets her.

A thought then pops into Max's head. Lydecker will not be protesting if he is sedated. She can get some meds from the infirmary and slip it into his drip. He will never even know.

With that thought Max gets up. "I have to go somewhere. I'll be back later."

Max returns that evening, a few hours later. She's hoping that Lydecker has forgotten about whole the hand thing.

The plan is to put his drip in and then slip the sedative into the drip line. Once he's out, she's going to get Dr Carr who is waiting outside.

When Max enters the apartment, she finds Lydecker on the bed. She sighs a sigh of relief, all she needs to do now is put the drip in.

"I've got the drips." Max announces as she starts to hook them onto the steel rail by the bed.

Lydecker slowly opens his eyes and looks at Max. He is lying on his back with his hand with the brace resting on his chest. At least the wounds on his back are much better and he can now lie on his back.

Moving his hand, Lydecker puts his arm out towards Max as his eyes slips closed again.

Max cleans his arm with disinfectant and then she puts in the drips. When everything is set up, Max checks to see if Lydecker is watching her and when she finds his eyes are closed, she pulls out an injection with the sedative from her pocket.

Just as Max is about to push the injection into the drips' feeder line, a hand grabs her by the arm. She jumps as Lydecker has caught her in the act.

"No." There is not only a clear plea in his voice but it is written all over his face. He then moves into a sitting position like he is moving away.

Max could just continue to inject into the drip line, he is weak, he cannot do anything, but for some reason Max doesn't feel like doing that to the man. He has felt helpless more than enough and she doesn't want to break down the little bit of trust that he has in her.

Putting down the injection, Max takes a seat on the bed with her one leg folded underneath her. All the while Lydecker still has his grip on Max's arm. A weak grip but a grip none the less.

Reaching out, Max gently places her hands on Lydecker's upper arms. She looks him in the eye and makes sure that he is looking her.

"Do you trust me?" Max asks as they make eye contact.

There's no answer but Max can see in Lydecker's eyes the pain, the brokenness.

"Lydecker, do you trust me?" Max repeats herself pushing the point, yet gentle.

A painful expression passes over Lydecker's face and then to Max's surprise his eyes starts filling up with water. The water then forms tears as they start running down his face.

Lydecker closes his eyes as he slumps forward and a hitched intake of breath escapes. Max taken aback by how the situation has developed, carefully puts her arms around him and gently pulls him to herself. Hugging him.

His body starts jerking as he starts to sob. Max softly places her hand over his head as he leans it onto her shoulder.

"Please." Lydecker's voice is weak and pleading.

"No more pain…no more pain." He's begging.

As Max is holding him, pain floods her own heart and a sad expression finds its way onto her face. Sure she never liked the man that made her childhood not a happy one but she can't bear to see even him in this state.

After a while the room goes quiet as the sobs disappear and then Max feels Lydecker's body completely slouch. He had fallen asleep. The once feared and dreaded Director of Manticore has cried himself to sleep on her shoulder…

Max carefully lays Lydecker down as not to wake him up. She then picks up the injection and injects the sedative into the drip-line.

* * *

TBC ...


	10. Chapter 10

Max is sitting with her legs on either side of the chair with her arms folded over the back rest. She's watching Lydecker as she has her chin resting on her arms.

Watching the man that she was running from for 10 years now lying before her in a broken state brings a strange feeling.

The night in that cheap hotel quickly runs across her mind.

" _You're special to me Max, I hope that you know that."_

Lydecker's voice echoes in her mind.

A deep intake of breath draws her attention as Lydecker is starting to wake up. She is hoping that he won't be too upset.

Opening his eyes, he looks around the room with half lidded eyes. He's still heavily affected by the sedatives. His eyes finds Max sitting next to him and then he just stares at her. A while later his eyes slowly falls shut again.

He seemed relaxed the moment he saw Max, like he was safe.

An hour later Lydecker opens his eyes. He blinks and then looks through the room. The sedatives has pretty much cleared now.

Turning his head, he spots Max leaning against the wall by the window looking out onto the streets of Terminal City.

For a moment he wonders if the other transgenics are aware that she is harboring their most hated enemy in the world right here among them.

"You're awake." Max sees that Lydecker is staring at her in the reflection of the window. Turning around, she makes her way over to him and then sits down on the chair next to the bed.

He slowly blinks but he just keeps looking at her in silence.

"Do you have pain?" Max asks and then waits for a delayed response which is a slightly shake of his head.

Lydecker then realizes that his hand is feeling different. Lifting his left hand that had the brace on it, he looks at his hand that only has a bandage on it now.

"It could come off. The bones are healed." Max comments as she watches him as he looks at his hand like he doesn't want it attached to himself.

"It's all fixed now." Max tries to let him understand that the hand won't be the same problem as it was a few hours ago.

Looking around the room again, Lydecker starts breathing deeply, almost like he is going into panic.

"Hey." Max carefully tries to get his attention but Lydecker then starts moving into a sitting position pushing himself to sit up against the wall as he gives a grunt of pain.

"It's ok." Max takes a seat on the bed next to Lydecker to get his attention.

Lydecker turns to look at Max. He is still breathing deeply and he has a slight bewildered look in his eyes. Like a man that is busy running for his life.

"Do you want some water?" Max tries to draw his attention to something else.

He frowns almost like he has to think about the question. He then gives a nod.

"Here." Max takes a glass of water that has been sitting next to the bed.

Taking the glass from Max, the glass shakes as Lydecker's grip is trembling. After taking a few sips, Max puts the glass down again.

It seems like he has calmed down a bit but he is still looking around the room as if he is expecting someone to come in at any moment and drag him away.

Trying to reassure him, Max reaches out to touch his shoulder but Lydecker thinking that she is going to touch his bandaged hand - one of the main causes of his pain and suffering - he hastily pulls it away.

"Please, please don't." A panicked tone and then he swallows. "Please…" His voice trails off into a whisper.

Max draws her hand back. She feels a slight stab of pain at the rejection of her touch. He knows that she won't do anything to hurt him, doesn't he trust her?

"I will give you some time to rest." Max drops her eyes and looks away as she stands up.

"Please don't go." Lydecker abruptly speaks.

Looking back at Lydecker, he has dropped his head as not to look at her.

"Please don't go." A whisper, a plea.

Slowly Max sits back down again.

Lydecker slightly turns his head in her direction but he doesn't make eye contact.

"Thank you." He whispers.

There's a moment of silence.

"Thank you." A soft whisper.

After a long time in silence, besides Lydecker's heavy breathing, Max speaks.

"Get some sleep." She can see that he is struggling to sit up and keep his eyes open.

There's a slight shake of his head. "Nightmares."

Watching him, Max thinks to herself that it seems so impossible that the person of their nightmares has nightmares himself.

Max watches as Lydecker struggles to keep sitting up and he seems too weak to move into a better position. A moment later Max gets up and then sits down next to Lydecker so that her shoulder is holding him up.

Pushed up against him, she can feel the shivers and trembling running through his body.

Looking down, Lydecker looks at his own hands trembling and then he recalls how many times he saw the transgenics from Manticore trembling like that.

Is this how his _kids_ felt like all their lives?

 _What has he done…?_

Slightly turning to Max, Lydecker was about to say something but then he keeps quiet deciding against it.

He wants to say sorry to Max. Sorry for everything that he has done. To her. To all of them. But if his torturers were to say sorry to him, he wouldn't want to hear it, he wouldn't believe it…so why should Max?

 _..._

 _Lydecker is being dragged down those dreaded familiar halls again. Dragged to that familiar room again, the one with a table with restraints on it. And so he is forcefully placed in that same familiar chair again, ankles and arms fastened and then the two male nurses shuts the door behind them._

 _It's like this just about every time. They leave him alone for some time before the doctors or that other guy with the brown hair comes in. It's like it's part of the torturing process, to let him think upon what is going to happen to him next._

 _The door opens and the same familiar guy with the brown hair steps in and following after him the two men who brought him there._

… _Who always brings him here._

 _And then just like on queue the door opens and a trolley is wheeled in, again with needles on it._

 _His fingers really can't take any more of this. His mind can't take any more of this._

" _Open your hands." The doctor commands. But Lydecker keeps his hands closed in fists. He knows what comes next, he is going to be prodded in his side and then they will open his hands. But he is going to get the pain anyway, so he might as well give them the irritation._

 _After the one guy did stick his prod into Lydecker's side, the doctor then continues to open his hands and examines his fingers._

" _They're not healed yet." The doctor gives his finding to the man with brown hair._

" _Option 2 then." The man simply states as he takes a seat across from Lydecker._

" _Just tell us what you have done with Manticore's back-up disks that you took from White's camp and there won't have to be that much pain today." The man makes it sound like it's so simple._

" _I told you, it was in my SUV when I was pushed off the road into the river." That's the story and he is sticking to it as he tries to sell it to them again. Of course it's not, the first thing he did was go and stash them away somewhere._

 _The man exhales and then motions to the doctor._

 _The next moment he is violently pushed down onto the table with his cheek pressed rather painfully into the stainless steel table._

" _Last chance." The man casually folds his hands._

" _Screw you." That's the last words out of Lydecker's mouth before he realizes what option 2 is._

 _The doctor's gloved hand is placed on the side of his head and with the other hand he is pushing the needle into Lydecker's ear. The moment the needle punctures and pushes through his ear drum, he starts screaming._

 _The needle is then painfully pulled out and Lydecker's breathing has a relieved sound to it._

" _Where's the disks, Deck?" The man calmly asks looking down at the man who once was the Director of Manticore._

 _When there is no answer, the doctor continues to push the needle into another part of his eardrum. Again there is screaming because the pain is far worse now._

 _The needle is again pulled out. This time there is no relief because Lydecker knows that it's not the end._

" _Where are they Colonel Lydecker?" The man's tone has a sing-sing edge to it. A mocking edge._

 _With no reaction, the doctor again pushes the needle into his hear into another part of the eardrum. This time the pain is a hundred fold and Lydecker tries to jerk but can't as there are too many restraints holding him down. He screams._

 _The needle is pulled out again._

" _Where are the…"_

" _I don't know!" Before the man can ask the question again, Lydecker shouts with an unsteady tone which is then followed by deep breaths trying to fight his way through the pain. "I don't know!"_

" _We don't believe you." The man simply states._

" _I don't know!" Lydecker angrily screams again._

 _The man then gets up and turns for the door. "Make sure that ear doesn't work for a long time." He tells the doctor before he leaves the room._

" _No, no!...!" Lydecker screams as the doctor brings the needle closer even before he has touched him._

"Lydecker!"

He suddenly jerks awake, his breathing is completely haywire and he is terrified.

Lydecker had fallen asleep leaning against Max but then about an hour later he started jerking and then started screaming no, no…

Frantically looking around the apartment, Lydecker's tone is panicked. "I need to get out."

"You are out." Max tries to calm his fears but it doesn't seem to register with him. She then moves to sit on the edge of the bed in front of him so that he can look at her.

"Lydecker." He is still looking around as if Max is not even there.

She then places her hand on his shoulder to draw his attention and he quickly turns to look at the hand on his shoulder and then he follows the arm attached to that hand, until he looks up at Max.

"You are out." Max calmly reassures him.

It takes a moment to sink in, then Lydecker starts blinking and his breathing slows down like he has just realized that it was just a nightmare. He then brings up his right hand and carefully cups it over his ear.

Max notes that is the ear with the raptured ear drum and then she wonders what they did to him.

He then moves his hand to cover his eyes, like he's ashamed. Max wants to tell him that it's ok, but he will only tell her it's not. So she just lets him have a moment, all the while her hand still on his shoulder hoping that it's providing some level of comfort.

Lydecker's breathing then turns hitched, almost like he is trying to hold back sobbing. "They stuck needles into my ear." A broken whisper.

Max just looks at him in silence as she can only imagine what kind of pain that could be like.

"They wanted to know what I've done with Manticore's back-up disks." Lydecker keeps his eyes covered with his hand.

Suddenly Max remembers the disks that Renfro showed her and told her that all of Manticore's information and research was on it. And if anything were to happen to Manticore, she just had to leave with the disks and they could start all over again somewhere else.

"How did you get it?" Max asks as the last place she saw it was when Renfro arrogantly dropped it into her own handbag.

"I stole it from White's base in the woods just outside of Manticore." Lydecker's tone turns a bit more calm and it sounds like he is getting a grip.

"I told them that it was in my SUV when they pushed me into the river but they wouldn't believe me." His breathing picks up again as panic seeps in, he then drops his hand from his face and looks up at Max.

Looking at Max, he seems to calm down again. "But it didn't matter, even if they did believe me…" He slowly blinks. "…the pain wouldn't have stopped anyway."

"So the disks are sleeping somewhere with the fishes." Max states as she thinks about it. Those disks can be a major problem in the wrong hands.

"No."

Max frowns as she looks at him.

"I hid it somewhere in the woods." Lydecker then looks down. "But by the time I cracked and told them, I couldn't remember where in the woods." He then looks back up at Max. "That didn't help me much."

A moment later he speaks again. "I don't know if they ever found it or not."

The next moment, Lydecker draws a deep panicked breath as he bring his left bandaged hand up as if he suddenly remembered he still had it.

"Pain, I've got pain." He then starts looking around the room again as if he is expecting someone else to be there, ready to hurt him.

"The drip is empty." Max looks up at the flat bag of morphine. She did bring an extra one with. So she drops her hand from Lydecker's shoulder and moves to stand up when he suddenly grabs hold of her.

"Don't leave." Lydecker then suddenly looks down at his hand where he grabbed hold of Max. A confused expression finds its way onto his face. It's like he is surprised that he could grab hold of her. It's like he didn't expect her to really be there.

Did he think that she was a hallucination?

Max leans forward a bit to get his attention. "It's ok, I'm here."

Lydecker looks up at Max with a slight bewildered look. "Where am I?"

"You're in Terminal City." Max carefully answers. "You've been here for the last 7 weeks." Has he forgotten?

After silently looking back at Max, he gets his breathing under control. He then starts looking around the room again but not expecting someone to be there but just making sure. His grip on Max starts slipping but then he takes hold again. Almost like he doesn't want to let go.

"Ok." Lydecker nods to himself and takes a deep breath.

"Ok." He then slowly let's go of Max and pulls his hand away as if he has just realized that he is holding onto her and that he isn't supposed to.

Lydecker ducks his head, he is ashamed of Max seeing him like this.

"I'm just going to get the morphine." Max softly tells him as she watches him. It's like his mind is swaying on the edge of reality and there's no telling on which side he is on.

When Max returns with the drip, Lydecker is still sitting up against the wall. He seems to have calmed down. She then proceeds to hook the drip onto the rail and then she sits down on the bed. She then holds out her hand to Lydecker.

He stares at her hand as he realizes it's the same hand that has the bandage on it that has the drip in it.

"I can do a new one on your other arm…" Max tries to offer but she is cut off.

"No…no." It's not a panicked reaction like before but rather a tone of trust. He then slowly turns his hand over and holds it out to Max.

Max then proceeds to carefully insert the pipe into the drip.

"They…" Lydecker lifts his other hand and touches his forehead. "They injected me with stuff that messed with my mind."

There's a secret snort in the back of Max's mind. _How about try being strapped down onto a cold steel chair, psychoactives pumped into you and then a laser shining into your eye and then being winded up like a toy soldier…._

Max glances up at Lydecker.

But they were being built into soldiers. What was done to Lydecker was to break him. Those methods differ.

"I started seeing things that was not real." Lydecker's tone is calm but lost as he's staring down blankly.

"My wife was there sometimes."

It's a faint whisper but Max heard it clearly.

"Sometimes…it was you." Lydecker keeps staring blankly at nothing as his voice is still a faint whisper. Like no one is supposed to know about it.

Max looks up at him and the expression on his face is almost like they were there to haunt him.

"Anyone else?" Max's softly asks, more out of curiosity.

There's a short silence.

"No. No one else was that special." Lydecker is still staring away.

There's that word _special…_

Looking at Lydecker, he looks like a sickly man that hasn't slept in days. He needs sleep but he can't sleep. She's sure if she goes and checks in the infirmary she can find psychotropic meds that can help with that. If not, she can always source some. She'll maybe just check with doctor Carr.

* * *

TBC...


	11. Chapter 11

"It's like he's here the one minute and the next he's not." Max explains to Dr Carr about Lydecker. "He's got terrible night terrors, he can't sleep and at some point he thought that I was an hallucination."

"His blood tests did pick up a few things but the only thing that could cause this type of behavior would've worked out of his system in less than two weeks. The only thing that can lead to this kind of behavior now, is that his mind is damaged. It's trauma." Dr Carr explains. He is not surprised by this, for the amount of mental trauma that Lydecker went through, it is expected.

"Isn't there something we can give him besides vitamins and morphine?" Max asks with a slight upset tone. This is not a normal type of lifestyle. How is anyone supposed to get better like this?

"There is. But we don't have it at Terminal City. I'll get it here from the hospital." There's a sing song bell in the background and then an announcement. "I've got to go, I'll organize those meds for you."

Putting down the phone, Max looks over to Logan who is busy typing away at his computer.

"Why do you care so much Max?" Logan asks as he is busy with something. He doesn't make a big deal about it because it doesn't really bother him, it's just strange that Max would put that much care into someone who did them harm.

"I don't know." Max sighs as she leans against the desk next to Logan. She never told Logan about what happened between her and Lydecker. She never told anyone. She didn't say a word about her being special to the former dreaded director of Manticore. "But I can't just leave him."

"Just…" Logan takes a deep breath. "…be careful." He tries to carefully keep in Max's mind that this was the big bad wolf of their nightmares.

"Yeah, I know." Max hasn't forgotten. She smiles at Logan and then she hugs him from behind and gives him a kiss on the cheek.

"Husband." Both Max and Logan smiles. The obstacles that they had to overcome to finally be together.

* * *

Unlocking the door and stepping in, Max finds Lydecker sitting on the couch with the blanket wrapped around him. He glances at her to make sure that it's her and not someone else.

"It's just me." Max softly smiles as she goes to the kitchen but before she enters she turns to Lydecker.

"Will there be a problem if I give you pills?" With Lydecker not wanting a doctor, knife, injection and the like anywhere near him, she is just making sure.

"No." Lydecker answers with no problem. He seems calm and aware of what is going on around him but he looks exhausted.

If it would've been a problem, she just would've opened the pills and poured the powder into his water or coffee.

Coming back from the kitchen, Max has a glass of water with her.

"Here." She holds out the glass and her hand. In the palm of her hand are two pills. Small, oval and orange.

Max has already got the whole speech of an explanation practiced in her head so that she can explain to Lydecker what it is for and to set his mind at ease, but to her surprise, he doesn't even look at the pills twice. He just takes the pills from her and takes it with the water.

 _Well that was easy_. Max thinks to herself.

"It gets chilly in here, so I brought you a jacket." Max pulls a brown jacket out of her backpack and holds it out to Lydecker.

Giving the jacket one look, Lydecker almost cringes away from it. "No, no jackets." That panicked tone is back again.

Looking at Lydecker as he eyes the jacket as if it was a device of torture, Max realizes that to him the jacket probably resembles a straitjacket.

"I'll bring you another blanket." Max quickly shoves the jacket back into her bag again. Well, at least the pills was easy.

She then disappears into the kitchen and comes back with a small container of yogurt. "Is yogurt fine?"

Lydecker just nods.

Sitting down on the couch next to Lydecker, Max slouches back. It's a three seat couch, so there's seat open in between them. It's also a long couch, which is comfy for sleeping on.

Max then lifts her head and looks towards her feet. "This place needs a coffee table to put your feet on." Leaning her head back, she closes her eyes. "And a kettle to make coffee with." There's short silence. "And a microwave, a fridge maybe, a tv." Max starts making out a shopping list of things that she thinks should be in the apartment.

"I'm sorry." Lydecker suddenly blurts out next to her.

She turns her head and looks over to him. "For what?" She really can't think of anything that he needs to apologize for at the moment.

Lydecker looks at Max. "Manticore." He then turns his face away. "I'm sorry."

Max is caught off guard. This is not what she expected at this moment.

Leaning forward Lydecker places his head in his right hand, while he keeps his left bandaged hand on his lap. It's still in a lot of pain.

"It's in the past." Max's tone is soft but it still tells that it haunts her dreams.

"Max, I am sorry." Lydecker is still leaning his head into his hand. "I didn't understand back then but…." There's a pause.  
"I understand now."

There's silence in the room as Max is staring at Lydecker. Maybe this coming from him would've meant something different if he came to that conclusion like a normal human being. But in this situation, in his condition, after what he has been through…it's a different feeling.

"I understand." Lydecker repeats, breaking the silence.

He understands. The words goes around in Max's head. Max was expecting to feel something after a confession like this but she doesn't. She doesn't feel much different.

Then she realizes it's because she hasn't held a grudge against him for some time.

"What did you give me?" Lydecker asks as he pulls his head up and he looks at the palm of his hand. "I.. I feel calm. I can almost think straight." Lydecker frowns, he hasn't felt like this in a long time. "It doesn't feel like there are a hundred voices inside my head."

"It's pills to calm you down and to help with the nightmares." Max avoids using the word 'psychotropic' meds. It's meds that affects you mentally and maybe Lydecker won't like stuff that can mess with his head at this moment.

There's silence again.

"Why?" Lydecker asks.

His tone tells that he is not talking about the pills. He is questioning why Max is doing this. Why she cares.

There's a pause of silence.

"You know why." She is pretty sure that he can put two and two together.

A moment later she continues. "They say that an adult's life is greatly impacted if they were favored as a child." Max hints just in case he misses it.

Lydecker turns and looks at Max who doesn't turn to look at him. A painful expression finds its way onto his face. Max can clearly see it out of the corner of her eye.

 _Here we go again, so much for calm…._

He knows what Max is referring to. Him sitting at her bedside when she was having seizures. He knows that Max is hinting to him about her being special to him.

That she's like a daughter to him.

"And I…." Lydecker's voice breaks. "I hurt you…, I allowed you to be tortured. I allowed the doctors to …hurt you." His voice then hitches telling that the tears are close.

Those words cuts to Max's heart. Even if she didn't confess it to herself, she knows that this is the question that has been clouding her mind. Ever since that day… that day in the hotel and then in the SUV.

If she is so damn special to him, then why? Why did he do to her what he did? How could he allow it? How could he allow all those things that was done to her?

"I hunted you down for 10 years to take you back to that place." By now Lydecker's eyes has filled with tears and they slowly start running down his face. "Now I know how you felt." His tone is a soft whisper.

Lydecker then slouches forward and places his head in his right hand again and then he wrings his fingers through his hair pulling.

"I shouldn't be here. You should've left me there to die." Lydecker's control is gone as he starts sobbing. He brings his bandaged hand up to his face to cover it. To hide.

"You should've left me there to die, just like I deserve." Lydecker gets the words out between the sobs.

Max is startled by what is happening. Lydecker crying is one thing but crying over what he did to her is another thing.

Max carefully moves closer to Lydecker. She's not sure what she is doing. She then carefully places her hands on his shoulders. "It's ok." She says just loud enough for him to hear over the sobs.

"No, it is not ok." Lydecker protests as he is still leaning forward with his hand in his hair.

"Come here." Max speaks softly but loud enough for him to hear. She then slowly pulls him to lie down on the couch with his head coming to rest on her lap.

She then softly places her hand over his hand that is busy pulling his hair. "Stop that." Max then softly strokes her thumb over the back of his hand until he let's go and pulls his hand to his chest.

His body is still jerking as he softly sobs. Max then lightly and cautiously places her hand on his head and then she very softly starts stroking her thumb over his temple, while looking for any sign that she should pull away. But he does nothing, he doesn't react, so she continues.

When he has calmed down he suddenly speaks. "I don't want to sleep."

"The meds will help with the nightmares." Max assures him.

"It's not the nightmares that I'm worried about. I'm afraid if I wake up I'll discover that this was all just a dream and you'll be gone and the doctors will be here." Lydecker takes a shaky breath. "And I'll be back there again. I'll be in pain again."

"This is not a dream. You are really here, I'm really here. The doctors and that place is no more. You don't have to worry about them ever again." Max leans forward as she softly tries to calm his fears.

"It has to be a dream. You're supposed to hate me. Even kill me yourself." Lydecker's sobs has stopped but his voice is still broken.

"No." Max tone is one of slight unbelief, how can he even think that of her? "Even that day I couldn't let you die."

"You were saving yourself." That night in that hotel room, Lydecker was going to shoot her and then himself. So in actuality, she was just saving herself.

"No, not when we were at the hotel. When we were at the genetics conference." Max answers.

Lydecker frowns.

"You were on the floor and about to take a bullet to the head and I couldn't let that happen." Max tells about what happened that day.

After a long silence thinking about it, Lydecker speaks. "Is that what happened?" This seems to have distracted his mind from his woes and grief as he is silent and no longer sobbing.

"I couldn't let you die then, and I'm not going to let you die now. And I'm definitely not going to kill you." Max's tone is soft, caring and reassuring. All the things that her tone would never have been with him, well, not before she found out about being special.

There's some silence before Max speaks again. "Get some sleep, you need it."

Before Lydecker can protest, Max assures him. "I'll be here when you wake up." Her hand is still on Lydecker's head. "Ok?"

Lydecker doesn't say anything but he gives a slight nod of his head.

Max then pulls the blanket over him properly that has slipped off and continues to softly stroke her thumb over his temple.

* * *

TBC...

Reviews ... anyone?


End file.
